Episode 014  ·  September 15, 2026

Justin Carter

He Held a Gun to His Head and Heard "Stop"

Justin Carter is a 13-year veteran firefighter who battled addiction after a broken engagement, was later diagnosed with a severe traumatic brain injury doctors had missed for years, and rebuilt his life around Christ, his wife, and his newborn daughter.

Justin Carter: He Held a Gun to His Head and Heard "Stop" — Suicide Prevention

Justin Carter, a 13-year veteran firefighter, sits down with Dan Black to talk about a broken engagement that sent him spiraling into alcohol and pill addiction, a near-fatal highway collision on the job, and the night he came within inches of ending his life. For nearly two years afterward, three separate doctors dismissed severe, unexplained symptoms until a specialized clinic finally diagnosed him with a Grade 2 traumatic brain injury, critically low testosterone, and stress hormones running at three times normal. Justin gets honest about considering psychedelic-assisted therapy for the underlying trauma, and choosing instead a 90-minute prayer of surrender that let him forgive the father who was never really there. This episode contains an on-air content warning for strong language, which the show intentionally leaves in.

Firefighter First Responder Addiction Suicide Prevention TBI Faith Redemption Fatherhood Marriage Christian Testimony Mental Health Recovery
The Story

Justin Carter grew up in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, in a firefighting family, raised largely by his stepfather, Brian, after his biological father proved unreliable and was mostly absent from his life. Justin entered the fire academy straight out of high school and spent much of his thirteen-year career working alongside Brian at the same department. The job exposed him early and often to real trauma, including a highway collision that nearly killed him when a tractor-trailer struck his stationary fire truck at nearly 100 miles per hour, and years of responding to severely injured children and adults. When a seven-year relationship and engagement fell apart, Justin spiraled into alcohol and prescription pill dependency, compounded by a string of surgeries that introduced him to painkillers and sedatives. He was arrested for a DUI despite blowing under the legal limit, and rather than treating it as a wake up call, went straight back to drinking the same day.

"I had the gun to the head, I was ready to pull the trigger, and the Holy Spirit convicted me."

Alone in his apartment one night, at what he now identifies as his lowest point, Justin loaded a handgun and brought it to his head. He describes physically being unable to move his hand any closer after hearing an audible voice say stop, twice, before collapsing in tears and praying a full surrender, telling God he could not keep living the way he had been. He heard, in response, that God was not done with him yet. It would still take time for that moment to translate into lasting change, but he identifies it as the death of the person he had been.

Justin had already matched with a woman named Morgan on a dating app, though she wasn't initially interested. They reconnected later, and he knew almost immediately he wanted to marry her, even as he continued drinking and began experiencing worsening, unexplained health symptoms. Morgan eventually gave him an honest ultimatum about how he treated her while drinking, and on their honeymoon cruise, which coincided with his thirtieth birthday, Justin committed to full sobriety. Two months after the wedding, Morgan became pregnant with their daughter, and Justin's symptoms grew severe: blackouts, rage, insomnia, and cognitive lapses that alarmed both of them. Three different doctors dismissed his concerns over roughly two years, until a specialized clinic finally diagnosed him with a Grade 2 traumatic brain injury, visible on an MRI that had never been properly explained to him, along with critically low testosterone and severely elevated cortisol.

"Without you, I'm nothing."

Justin began hormone therapy, which addressed some of his physical symptoms, but knew it wouldn't resolve the underlying trauma on its own. He seriously considered a psychedelic-assisted treatment he'd heard about through other veteran and first-responder circles, but instead spent roughly ninety minutes alone in his bedroom in prayer, naming every burden he carried, including seventeen years of anger toward his late biological father, and surrendering all of it. He says he walked out of that room changed, and was finally able to forgive his father completely.

Today Justin has been sober for about a year, continues testosterone replacement therapy, and remains an active firefighter. He and Morgan are raising their daughter, Collins, and have built a faith life centered on their own home rather than a traditional church building, staying closely connected to a small circle of Christian mentors and friends. He continues to run a mindset-focused brand built out of his years hosting a podcast, and recently organized a fundraiser for three siblings removed from a house fire after being left neglected, describing it as one small way of living out an oath he believes does not end when a call is over.

From This Episode
"I sat on the side of the bed and I remember just like holding a gun in my hand and looking at it."
— On his lowest point
"I'll never forget hearing in my ear it was, 'Stop.'"
— The moment everything changed
"There's so many days, dude, I don't feel worthy."
— On fatherhood
"My wife's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
— On his wife, Morgan
"You can get the same release through Jesus Christ."
— On choosing prayer over other treatment options
"That's the first time I ever realized it's okay not to be okay."
— Justin Carter
Scripture
"Humble Yourself in the Presence of the Lord"
The verse behind Justin's own tattoo, cited by him as 1 Peter 2:7. Worth noting the phrasing more closely echoes James 4:10 in most common translations.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
Raised by Dan as an illustration of surviving overwhelming circumstances by placing faith correctly rather than trying to escape them.
The Book of Ruth
Told at length by Dan, connecting Ruth's small first step of faith to Justin's own description of confession as the first step God meets you in.
Topics Covered
Growing up in a firefighting family in Myrtle Beach
A stepfather who raised him from age two
Entering the fire academy straight out of high school
A near-fatal highway collision during an extrication call
Losing a finger while cutting a victim out of a wrecked car
A broken seven-year engagement
Alcohol and prescription pill addiction after multiple surgeries
A DUI arrest despite blowing under the legal limit
An empty, bar-centered bachelor lifestyle
A suicide attempt interrupted by an audible voice
Meeting his wife, Morgan, on a dating app
Committing to sobriety on a honeymoon cruise
Severe, unexplained symptoms during his wife's pregnancy
Being dismissed by three different doctors
Diagnosis with a Grade 2 traumatic brain injury
Critically low testosterone and elevated cortisol
Considering and declining psychedelic-assisted therapy
A 90-minute prayer of full surrender
Forgiving his biological father after 17 years of anger
Fatherhood, identity, and the protector mindset
Treating home as sacred space instead of a church building
Organizing a fundraiser for children removed from a house fire
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