Justin Carter is a 13-year veteran firefighter who battled addiction after a broken engagement, was later diagnosed with a severe traumatic brain injury doctors had missed for years, and rebuilt his life around Christ, his wife, and his newborn daughter.
Justin Carter, a 13-year veteran firefighter, sits down with Dan Black to talk about a broken engagement that sent him spiraling into alcohol and pill addiction, a near-fatal highway collision on the job, and the night he came within inches of ending his life. For nearly two years afterward, three separate doctors dismissed severe, unexplained symptoms until a specialized clinic finally diagnosed him with a Grade 2 traumatic brain injury, critically low testosterone, and stress hormones running at three times normal. Justin gets honest about considering psychedelic-assisted therapy for the underlying trauma, and choosing instead a 90-minute prayer of surrender that let him forgive the father who was never really there. This episode contains an on-air content warning for strong language, which the show intentionally leaves in.
Justin Carter grew up in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, in a firefighting family, raised largely by his stepfather, Brian, after his biological father proved unreliable and was mostly absent from his life. Justin entered the fire academy straight out of high school and spent much of his thirteen-year career working alongside Brian at the same department. The job exposed him early and often to real trauma, including a highway collision that nearly killed him when a tractor-trailer struck his stationary fire truck at nearly 100 miles per hour, and years of responding to severely injured children and adults. When a seven-year relationship and engagement fell apart, Justin spiraled into alcohol and prescription pill dependency, compounded by a string of surgeries that introduced him to painkillers and sedatives. He was arrested for a DUI despite blowing under the legal limit, and rather than treating it as a wake up call, went straight back to drinking the same day.
"I had the gun to the head, I was ready to pull the trigger, and the Holy Spirit convicted me."
Alone in his apartment one night, at what he now identifies as his lowest point, Justin loaded a handgun and brought it to his head. He describes physically being unable to move his hand any closer after hearing an audible voice say stop, twice, before collapsing in tears and praying a full surrender, telling God he could not keep living the way he had been. He heard, in response, that God was not done with him yet. It would still take time for that moment to translate into lasting change, but he identifies it as the death of the person he had been.
Justin had already matched with a woman named Morgan on a dating app, though she wasn't initially interested. They reconnected later, and he knew almost immediately he wanted to marry her, even as he continued drinking and began experiencing worsening, unexplained health symptoms. Morgan eventually gave him an honest ultimatum about how he treated her while drinking, and on their honeymoon cruise, which coincided with his thirtieth birthday, Justin committed to full sobriety. Two months after the wedding, Morgan became pregnant with their daughter, and Justin's symptoms grew severe: blackouts, rage, insomnia, and cognitive lapses that alarmed both of them. Three different doctors dismissed his concerns over roughly two years, until a specialized clinic finally diagnosed him with a Grade 2 traumatic brain injury, visible on an MRI that had never been properly explained to him, along with critically low testosterone and severely elevated cortisol.
"Without you, I'm nothing."
Justin began hormone therapy, which addressed some of his physical symptoms, but knew it wouldn't resolve the underlying trauma on its own. He seriously considered a psychedelic-assisted treatment he'd heard about through other veteran and first-responder circles, but instead spent roughly ninety minutes alone in his bedroom in prayer, naming every burden he carried, including seventeen years of anger toward his late biological father, and surrendering all of it. He says he walked out of that room changed, and was finally able to forgive his father completely.
Today Justin has been sober for about a year, continues testosterone replacement therapy, and remains an active firefighter. He and Morgan are raising their daughter, Collins, and have built a faith life centered on their own home rather than a traditional church building, staying closely connected to a small circle of Christian mentors and friends. He continues to run a mindset-focused brand built out of his years hosting a podcast, and recently organized a fundraiser for three siblings removed from a house fire after being left neglected, describing it as one small way of living out an oath he believes does not end when a call is over.
"I sat on the side of the bed and I remember just like holding a gun in my hand and looking at it."
"I'll never forget hearing in my ear it was, 'Stop.'"
"There's so many days, dude, I don't feel worthy."
"My wife's the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"You can get the same release through Jesus Christ."
"That's the first time I ever realized it's okay not to be okay."